100 Years...100 Movie Quotes...100 Trivial Objections, Part 2A

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

“Just what this country needs: a cock in a frock on a rock.”

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: ‘No more fucking ABBA!’”

All the President's Men

“Nothing’s riding on this except the First Amendment, the freedom of the press, and maybe the future of the country.”

Almost Famous

“I am a Golden God!”

“Rock stars have kidnapped my son.”

Amazon Women on the Moon

“Did you know that every 8 minutes, a black person is born in this country without soul?”

American Beauty

“That’s my wife, Carolyn. See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That’s not an accident.”

“Today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.”

Analyze This

“I wasn’t really gonna’ whack ya’... All right maybe I was gonna’ whack you. But I was real conflicted about it.”

Animal Crackers

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas? I don’t know.”

“You are going Uruguay, and I’m going my way.”

Antz

“The middle child in a family of five million, you don’t get any attention.”

“Well, trouble’s my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don’t want you spreading that around.”

“Why don’t we just try to influence their political process with campaign contributions?”

“There you have it: your basic boy-meets-girl, boy-likes-girl, boy-changes-the-underlying-social-order story.”

Arsenic and Old Lace

“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops!”

As Good As It Gets

“Some of us have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad, just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that’s their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you’re that pissed that so many others had it good.”

Bananas

“This trial is a travesty. It’s a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham. I move for a mistrial, do you realize there’s not a single homosexual on that jury?”

Barton Fink

“We all want it to have that Barton Fink feeling. I mean, I guess we all have that Barton Fink feeling, but since you’re Barton Fink, I’m assuming you have it in spades.”

Beetlejuice

“Well, I attended Julliard. I’m a graduate of the Harvard Business school. I travel quite frequently. I lived through the Black Plague and I had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen The Exorcist about 167 times and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it!”

“Nice fucking model!”

Being John Malkovich

“Nobody’s looking for a puppeteer in today’s wintry economic climate.”

“Behind the stubble and the top prominent brow and the male-pattern baldness, I sensed your feminine longing.”

“Meet you in Malkovich in one hour.”

Best in Show

“Now tell me, which one of these dogs would you want to have as your wide receiver on your football team?"

“And to think in some countries these dogs are eaten.”

Better Off Dead

“I want my two dollars.”

The Big Lebowski

“I’m not Mr. Lebowski. You’re Mr. Lebowski. I’m the Dude, so that’s what you call me. That, or His Dudeness or Duder or El Duderino if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.”

“Hey, careful, man! There’s a beverage here!”

“You cannot fuck with the Jesus!”

“I told that kraut a fucking thousand times I don’t roll on Shabbos.”

The Birdcage

“Oh! I’ve pierced the toast!”

“You know, I used to feel that way too until I found out that Alexander the Great was a fag. Talk about gays in the military!”

Blazing Saddles

“If you shoot him, you’ll just make him mad.”

“You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land; the common clay of the new West. You know...morons.”

“Mongo only pawn...in game of life.”

“They said you was hung!”
“And they was right!”

“Excuse my while I whip this out.”

“Unfortunately there is one thing standing between me and that property--the rightful owners.”

Blue Velvet

“What are you doing in my closet, Jeffrey Beaumont?”

The Brady Bunch Movie

“Put on your Sunday best, kids; we’re going to Sears.”

Bringing Out the Dead

“I came to realize that my work was less about saving lives than about bearing witness. I was a grief mop.”

Broadway Danny Rose

“I don’t wanna badmouth the kid, but he’s a horrible, immoral louse. And I say that with all due respect.”

Bull Durham

“Don’t think. It can only hurt the ball club.”

“Strikeouts are boring, besides that, they’re fascist.”

“I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your Christmas Presents on Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”

“The world was made for people who aren’t cursed with self-awareness.”

“A guy’ll listen to anything if he thinks it’s foreplay.”

“I’d never sleep with a player hitting under .250 unless he had a lot of RBIs or was a great glove man up the middle. A woman’s got to have standards.”

“Walt Whitman once said, ‘I see great things in baseball. It’s our game. The American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us.’ You could look it up.”

“Candlesticks.”

Cabin Boy

“Gosh, you’re cute. Wanna’ buy a monkey?”

“I just don’t get it! She seems totally uninterested in me, despite my smothering obsessiveness!”

Chasing Amy

“Curious about men? Well, I always wondered why my father watched Hee Haw.”

Christmas Vacation

“We’re going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas, since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny-fucking-Kaye!”

“If I woke up tomorrow with my face sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.”

“Shitter’s full.”

City Slickers

“If that were as interesting as baseball, they’d have cards for it and sell it with gum.”

Clerks

“This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers.”

“I’m not even supposed to be here today!”

Coal Miner's Daughter

“Woman, if you want to keep that arm, you better get it off my husband.”

The Court Jester

“I’ve got it! I’ve got it! The pellet with the poison’s in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true! Right?”

Crimes and Misdemeanors

“The last time I was inside a woman is when I visited the Statue of Liberty.”

“What is this guy so upset about? You’d think nobody was ever compared to Mussolini before.”

“It’s my one love letter... I plagiarized most of it from James Joyce. You probably wondered why all of the references to Dublin.”

“Show business is dog eat dog. It’s worse than dog eat dog. It’s dog doesn’t return other dog’s phone calls.”

A Day at the Races

“It’s the old story: Boy meets girl, Romeo and Juliet, Minneapolis and St. Paul.”

“If I hold you any closer, I’ll be in back of you.”

“Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.”

Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

“My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.”

“I hadn’t seen a body put together like that since I solved the case of The Murdered Girl With Big Tits.”

“Carlotta was the kind of town where they spell trouble T-R-U-B-I-L, and if you try to correct them, they kill you.”

Dirty Dancing

"Nobody puts baby in the corner."

Dogma

“See, all these movies take place in a town called Shermer, in Illinois. And there’s all this fine bush running around, and we could kick all the dude’s asses because they’re all whiney pussies. Except Judd Nelson - he was harsh. But best of all, there was no one selling weed. So I says to Silent Bob, ‘Man, we could live phat if we were the blunt connection in Shermer, Illinois!’ So we collected some cash we were owed, and caught a bus. But when we got there you know what we found out? There is no Shermer in Illinois. What kind of shit is that?! Fucking movies are bullshit!”

Drugstore Cowboy

“People use drugs to relieve the pressures of their everyday life--like having to tie their shoes.”

Duck Soup

“I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows till you come home.”

“Gentlemen, Chiccolini here may talk like an idiot and look like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth or eleven years in Twelveworth.”
“I tell you what I’ll do. I’ll take five and ten in Woolworth’s.”

“We’re fighting for this woman’s honor, which is more than she ever did.”

Eve's Bayou

“The summer I killed my father, I was ten years old.”

Everyone Says I Love You

“I’m through with love and through with all you motherfuckers.”

“Steffi, bring down a copy of my will and an eraser, okay?”

“She was also a heroin addict, but I thought it was insulin.”

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)

“I must think of something quickly, because before you know it the Renaissance will be here and we will all be painting.”

“TB or not TB, that is congestion. Consumption be done about it? Of cough, of cough. But it takes a lung, lung time.”

The Evil Dead

“We can’t bury Sharon. She’s our friend.”

Fargo

“I guess that was your accomplice in the, ah, wood chipper.”

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

“Anyone know what this is? Class? Anyone? Anyone?”

Fight Club

“This chick Marla Singer did not have testicular cancer. She was a liar.”

Five Easy Pieces

“Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich and you haven’t broken any rules.”

Four Weddings and a Funeral

“It’s Brigadoon, it’s bloody Brigadoon!”

“You know, there’s nothing more off-putting in a wedding than a priest with an enormous erection.”

“In the words of David Cassidy, in fact, when he was still with the Partridge Family, I think I love you.”

Friday

“Puff puff, give. Puff puff give. You’re fuckin’ up the rotation.”

“No sugar!? Damn! Y’all ain’t never got two things that match. Either ya got Kool-Aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Daaamn!”

“I know you don’t smoke weed, I know this, but I’m gonna get you high today, ‘cause it’s Friday; you ain’t got no job...and you ain’t got shit to do!”

“You got to be a stupid mother fucker to get fired on you day off!”

“Miss Jackson just don’t know!”

“You got knocked the fuck out!”